Update

I have written the beginning of this post a couple of times. A lot has happened, so lets start at the beginning and try to see how it goes shall we?

Last fall, I became certified for Personal training and soon after landed a part-time gig. My current work situation was just not a good fit for me and I wanted more than training early in the mornings and a session at night. I started looking and with some encouraging from Q I looked into any openings in Milwaukee. BOOM! Came back with 3 options almost immediately and took one of them for full time. We moved to Milwaukee, which is not easy. I have been working but it doesn't seem to be that I am working hard enough as my full time status is being threatened to be cut back to part time. This could be perilous as I need the health benefits and I need the hours. Also, I am concerned that once I am bumped down to part time that I won't be able to come back to full time status or that they might just cut me or ... and this is the worse for me... I might have to quit.

So basically, my dream has also become a nightmare. Trust me I am none too happy and am concerned. However, sometimes these little growing pains are signals for change. Maybe this is actually a huge flashing red light and siren saying "WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" and that I need to grow some more even if it is unpleasant.

Pity party's are not pretty. Instead of cowering from obstacles, the best thing is to face them head on. A wise person once said,
"The answer is simple, 
the question is complicated."

My question of how do I keep my full time status has the potential to really become a twisted maze of guessing, self-doubt and anxiety. However, if I focus on what I know I need to do and not make excuses to avoid this nightmare. That is how I will conquer it.

Stressin'

I am definitely one of those type A people but I try to keep on the back burner. However, recently the smallest things have sent my blood boiling. I know why also. I am addicted to exercising. I have not gotten in my walks or elliptical circuits this whole week. This is mainly because I have been dosing myself with equal parts benadryl and hydrocortisone cream with a nightly ice pack lounge on the couch. This may sound strange but with a severe reaction to the lovely mosquito bites I got from a day/night out at the lake. It has taken time for me to recuperate which has led to noticeably higher levels of stress. I am very happy that my normal workout routine of evening walks can now be reinstated as of tomorrow. I did laundry and walked and danced today with minimal bite aggravation.

So word to the wise. Start rounds of ice packs, benadryl and bite cream "baths" sooner than as soon as possible to shorten the recuperation period and hopefully avoid unneeded stress.

(I'm stressing about doc visits - vision and girlie - along with the fact my absolute fav pair of jeans is gone for good. With a body like mine good jeans are like finding a needle in a haystack but ending in a very depressed me moping in front a ice-creamless freezer wishing it to appear.)

When I say I understand,... I really do.

I always say I understand how tough it can be. It is hard to finally look down at yourself, know that you are not happy but still not have the willpower to do anything. It is difficult to find the right first step to take so that you don't end up feeling like a failure and quitting before you really even get started. Then it is a whole different challenge to understand how you are to make yourself keep going without getting bored, overworked or worse - injured. When I say I understand all these, .... I really do. Because I feel like I let myself go - I let myself get to how I am today. Because I work all day and I don't always feel like it. Because sometimes getting started is the hardest first step to make, and it doesn't always go the way you envisioned. Everyday is a challenge. When I say I understand, .... I really do.

Today, though, was a break through of my own. Today I was not some supernaturally gifted fitness professional. Today I was a girl, walking a circuit with my little hand weights in search of the person I am under all these layers of laziness decisions. My first decision was to convince myself to squeeze in my workout before nightfall because I have a full schedule today. My second decision to change as quickly as possible as soon as I got back home so I couldn't change my mind. My third to actually walk out the door and start my circuit. Making my circuit (which is 1/2 mile) 4 times over to make up 2 miles, while switching from walking to jogging to walking again every 1/4 mile. My clincher today, making the full 2 miles.

I am sweaty, I am sore, but I am better for it.  It doesn't matter who you are or where you started. It just matters that you do. When I say I understand how difficult it is to drag yourself out there and finish what you started ... I really do. Because today was my struggle.

Fall down eight times, Get up nine.

Q (my wonderfully amazing fiance) and I have been gradually converting our eating habits and training habits. This alone makes me so proud, it is never an easy task changing what we eat. Our plan was not to take away everything we loved (P&B nites - aka Pizza and Beer nights) but to make small changes to our every day life.
1. I went through our grocery list and started there. First priority was to be sure that we got our fruits and veggies before others.
2. We ate fresh. Fresh fruits for snacks, fresh veggies (LOTS) with dinner). I strive for 3/4 plate of veggies but it ends up being half with 1/4 meat and 1/4 carbs.
3. We stuck to meal times. Breakfast in the morning (UGH - I hate eating in the morning). Because I have such a hard time with breakfast I sometimes make my classic Xpresso Shake - a coffee shake with protein supplement that is fortified and very similar to meal replacement shakes. Q rarely has a hard time eating in the morning, as long as he has his cereal he is good. Lunches are simple and usually leftovers. Dinners are a little different as I try to make enough to eat for that night and the next day for lunch. Or sometimes make enough to remake into something still good but still delish. Other times it is about trying to find the strength to leave some of the leftovers.  Always important, leave yourself leftovers. (4)

I have been going for walks, it started with 1/2 mile. Now I am up to 2 miles walking and jogging the last straightaway. Jogging the straight away is a little tough currently. I'm also trying to work in some strength training to tone.

Overall, I have to say I am so frustrated. 3 years ago I was running 6 miles and currently I cannot even run 1/2 a mile. This is what I chose and I am changing my mind. I screwed around for 2+ years, it's time for NO EXCUSES! And no matter how many times I feel I missed an opportunity, I will try - try - and TRY again. Because....

Memorial Day 2012 - Thank you

First and foremost, THANK YOU to all the men and women in the military for everything you have done and will do. So that I might be able to believe what I choose to believe, dream any dream and love my family. I appreciate all of you so that  across the country we may all have different opinions and belief systems. I nothing but the utmost respect for the sacrifices many of you have made and may have to make in the future. My parting thought is that may you and yours be blessed.

(image available through clker.com)

Finding my rhythm

Sleep is one of those consistent past times in my life that I have always loved. However, how much is too much and how much is not enough? Those mornings I wake up and feel completely rested leads to a day I feel on top my game. I love those days. However, sometimes I do things that get in the way of a good nights rest. That is why I did a little looking around and found what helps getting a better nights rest.

I'm a list person, but I found this information through the following article from the National Sleep Foundation.
http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/sleep-topics/healthy-sleep-tips
Because I like lists, here are the pointers -
1. Have a specific time to get up and go to bed, keep it consistent even on weekends. - your body relies on consistency
2. Do the same relaxing activity the hour before you go to bed. - helps you wind down
3. Keep the bedroom - dim, quiet and comfy. - promotes peaceful sleep
4. Don't sleep with a lumpy pillow, or bed. - your body can't relax if is in an awkward position
5. Only water 2-3 hours before bed. - digesting food is work, make sure your body is done working for the day.
6. Exercise regularly, avoid right before bed.
7. Stay away from nicotine or caffeine. - revving your engine before bed is a bad idea.
8. Avoid alcohol before bed. - it's recommended however, even 1 beer sometimes makes me sleepy.

These are just general tips. I've already started working on the first one, and been doing pretty well (except for Friday movie nights). That along with the fact that 3 and 4 are automatics for me. I will have to work on numbers 2, 5, and 6. I can say with confidence that when I woke up early in the mornings to exercise I did feel like I slept better.

I'm hoping that finding this rhythm will help me get into other ones also. It's all about putting one foot in front of the other. Healthy living doesn't happen overnight.

For now, though, sweet dreams!

Resurfacing

Yikes. It's been awhile. Sorry folks.

I won't recap everything but I did veer away from my goals - who has not come across a time like that? - Time to come back. This is for food, which can be so much fun and challenging at the same time. I spent 4 weeks exercising was not seeing anything. 5lbs water weight sure. But I was discouraged, until I realized (after that sad phase) I hadn't looked at what and how I was eating. Rookie mistake. Working on it.

Nutrition is not something I studied or even really paid that much attention to when in school. I should have as I know the basics, i.e. bread = carbs = starch. I am lacking in knowledge on the stuff in the middle, application, etc. However, I do know the basic idea that chocolate is not an all important food group and my closet addiction to Diet Coke (don't go there, I know) does not help. Thus, I will try to improve on when I crave a Dt. Coke to grab water instead. I'm keeping it simple. Also, you can have my Dt. Coke but nobody touches my chocolate. Ever.

I am really stoked about how to find alternative ways to satisfy my cravings. Because when THAT time of month rolls around this chic will turn into a three headed Hydra if there is no intake of chocolate. Honestly, many have tried and many have fallen. The alternative, which is where the "stoked" part comes in is this wonderful blog spot!  Two Peas & Their Pod - many many kudos for 2 Ingredient Banana Peanut Butter Ice Cream. I tried it, and am use this as my base. My current concoction is the base from the blog with unsweetened cocoa, a few drops of vanilla extract and vanilla yogurt. The reason I added the yogurt is mainly because once I have one serving I tend to want another. Not sure why but I rarely buy it. When I do buy vanilla yogurt, it does not stick around for long. I will have to follow up with another post or edit so stay tuned.

Currently I am sticking with aerobics, and I do count when I do a deep clean. Deep clean for me is removing almost anything that I can lift or move by myself then wiping/cleaning every surface. This mainly applies to kitchen and living room but trust me when I say "feel the burn baby!"

Tata for now!