Life lessons

Stop. Listen. Breathe. Act.
Four motions, four steps  that could really make my life easier. I know them, I created them for myself. So, why don't I use them? Many of the issues I have or encounter would have such different results if I just followed my own little template. I really wanted to be a manager, I will confess, and one of the main reasons is because I wanted my mom (and dad) to see what I do is legitimate. I'm not just playing in a gym. Another lesson there was, if I wanted others to take me seriously then I have to take myself seriously. Not in the way where I never smile but that there must be CONVICTION. Confidence helps with conviction, if you believe thoroughly in your cause whatever it might be then others will follow. So I have my cause, but I find myself lacking confidence and thus conviction which is bad. It means there is wavering confidence and people don't want to follow a wishy washy leader. I didn't want to be that leader. Or manager. But this week, I let my team and myself down. I didn't follow through, didn't stop to think, and I hurt those close to me.

Sometimes I feel like, I have this need to dig myself into holes before I can begin anything. Like I can't just star something and fgo from where I picked up. That I need to take steps backward before moving forward.

I started journaling in a cute teal book but my real aspiration is to blog. Everyone has to start somewhere, I write in bursts because of time and energy. It makes sense, to write you have to have interest, you have to have material and you have to have resources. There are many versions of that concept all over. Some days I have so. Any ideas they are like a flock of butterflies - light, splendid, prolific, and hard to catch. They flit and flutter away from me so quickly the I don't always cat h them and I am left empty handed.